The Testing and Trials of Life

I have the following quote by President Harold B. Lee laminated and sitting where I can see it every time I sit at my computer. It is profound, and based on D&C 101:4-5:

"Some of us have been tried and have been tested until our very heart strings would seem to break. I have heard of persons dying with a broken heart, and I thought that was just a sort of a poetic expression, but I learned that it could be a very real experience. I came near to that thing, but when I began to think of my own troubles, I thought of what the apostle Paul said of the Master. "Though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered, and being made perfect, he became the author of eternal salvation unto all them that obey him." (Heb 5:8, 9)

Don't be afraid of the testing and trials of life. Sometimes when you are going through the most severe tests, you will be nearer to God than you have any idea, for like the experience of the Master himself in the temptation on the mount, in the Garden of Gethsemane, and on the cross at Calvary, the scriptures record, 'And, behold, angels came and ministered unto him.' (Matt 4:11)

Sometimes that may happen to you in the midst of your trials."

There continues to be severe testing and trials in this group. Know that angels are ministering to you, possibly unawares, but there nevertheless. And countless prayers are being offered on your behalf. You are loved.

From a Writer Who Studies History...

I've written several books of historical fiction. The last two centered around communism. The Silence of God was set during the Bolshevik Revolution in Russia, and Letters in the Jade Dragon Box takes place in China, and tells of the reign of Chairman Mao Tse-tung.

They were difficult books to write. As I dug deep for facts about these systems of government and the men who forced the communist ideology on their people, I unearthed the toll of human suffering caused by a flawed system and from horrific acts of cruelty. It has been calculated that during Mao's 27 year reign as leader of China, between 58-70 million of his countrymen died. And, since the country was not at war during this time period, these deaths were attributed to starvation, torture, execution, and suicide.

I know, I'm sorry...I'd much rather be writing a piece about a relaxing trip taken, or a funny story about my family, but I've been so alarmed by the cracks in America's foundation, that I can't keep quiet. I watch the political scene carefully, and I've never seen a Presidential administration so bent on undermining the basic principles of this country. This observation is not based on hear-say, but on actual words that have been said by President Obama and members of his close associates working with him in this administration. Caught on film are comments made by the President about how he wants to fundamentally change this country, how he wants to "spread the wealth," how he wishes he could do without Congress, and how he admires the disgraceful antics of Occupy Wall Street.

As a writer, I must write my feelings, and as I watch this great nation slide towards Socialism, my feelings are of anger and alarm.

As a writer, I must also write an appeal. Please, wake up America.

The Best Thing About Being a Writer

Congratulations to all the Whitney finalists, a number of whom contribute to this blog. Any sour grapes I might have about not being one of them are squished into juice by the fact that I can't come over to Salt Lake to attend the gala anyway, so it's probably a good thing I'm not expected to. (Also I am now in the happy position of being a judge, so I get to read all those wonderful books!)

That must be such a wonderful thing, though. Imagine writing a book, and knowing that enough people loved it that they will invite you to a glittering evening to be cheered and clapped by your peers and given accolades and recognition for your talent. Such pride, such an accomplishment, such a moment. (At this point I think I need to mention Bono who, when collecting an award for his music last year, made the noteworthy acceptance speech; "I've received a lot of these things over the years, but I'd just like to say that this one is the most ... recent.")

Could receiving awards be the best thing about being a writer? I don't think so.

I'm currently awaiting delivery of a box of books. My latest effort, No Escape, was published last month, and fifteen copies are winging their way across the Atlantic to me (Actually limping their way rather slowly.) I love that moment of tearing off the parcel tape and holding a beautiful freshly printed copy of my very own work, then leafing through it to see how my creation looks in print. It's one of the best things about being a writer. But not the very best.

Royalties cheques are pretty good too. I'm quite fond of those. But they tend not to include as many digits as the public might suppose (mine don't anyway) so while they are nice, being paid is not the best thing about being a writer.

I've had a couple of compliments recently from people who've read my books, and that's great. It's even better when they put reviews saying how much they enjoyed the book on sites like Amazon, Goodreads and Shelfari, or on their blogs or Facebook. Good reviews are a wonderful thing about being a writer, but for me unfortunately the occasional bad review negates them all.

So what's the best thing about being a writer? I think it's something that happened to me yesterday. It's when an idea, or a line, or a plot twist pops into your head, and you just can't wait to get to the computer to get it down, and when you do you get completely absorbed for what might be hours but feels like minutes, and when you finally stop you've written over 1,000 words, and your story is moving and connecting and making sense. I'm sorry that's such a long sentence, but it's exciting!

To sum up, the best thing about being a writer is writing.

Letting the Sunshine In

In January I was asked to write/direct our ward's roadshow. Good times. ;) Our theme this year: "Pick an Old Testament Story." I pondered for a time, then settled on the story of Moses, and his task to lead the children of Israel to freedom.

This story has often puzzled me. Through the help of the Lord, Moses was able to perform miracle after miracle. And these weren't just small, ordinary, every day miracles that take place all around us. These were huge, unforgettable show-stoppers, like causing horrible plagues among the Egyptians, parting the Red Sea, producing water from places where water didn't exist, bringing down manna from heaven, etc. The part that has always bothered me is that no matter what wonders the Israelites witnessed, they weren't satisfied. They were always complaining and murmuring, not to mention misbehaving when, say, Moses did things like meet with the Lord to receive important commandments and laws.

So this was the story chosen. I called the script: "Attitude is Everything--Or Why Moses Broke the Ten Commandments." Each line rhymed (an annoying habit of mine when I sometimes compose these type of things) and it was full of humor. When manna from heaven "came down," a loaf of bread was hurled onto the stage for the "children of Israel" to fight over. The birds that fell from the sky were represented by a  rubber chicken that was also thrown onto the stage. Etc. and so forth. I was hoping the youth that were involved in this production would absorb the teaching moment I prayed this production would be. At the end, we sang a song I remodeled. The lyrics are as follows:

Open Up Your Heart And Let The Sunshine In

(Modified by: Cheri J. Crane)

My mommy told me something
That everyone should know
It's all about how life should be
One’s attitude does show

She says it causes trouble
When you frown the live long day
Unhappiness is your choice
If you choose to be that way!

[CHORUS]
So let the sun shine in
Face it with a grin
Smilers never lose
And frowners never win
So let the sun shine in
Face it with a grin
Open up your heart
And let the sun shine in

When you are unhappy
You make others sad
Being grumpy is quite sinful
It means your attitude is bad

So if you're full of trouble
And you never seem to win
Just open up your heart
And let the sun shine in

[Repeat CHORUS]

I was so proud of my cast when they sang this song for the final performance. As it rang out through the audience, I found myself praying that the message we attempted to portray would be absorbed. We live in a difficult time. Trials and heartbreaking challenges surround us. And yet, despite it all, there is hope--but it's up to us to see it.

As often happens in my life, a strong analogy came to mind, one that had hit me between the eyes several years ago. I had been struggling with a bit of tribulation and woke up feeling less than cheery. In a dark mood, I stomped around, attempting to get ready for the day. As I made the bed and straightened things up in our bedroom, a task I usually complete first thing each morning, I noticed that the lighting didn't look right. Then it dawned on me that I hadn't opened the blinds that cover the window. As I walked over to accomplish this simple task, bright sunlight flooded inside that room. At that moment, a thought came to mind: "It's up to you to let the light in. It exists. It's there, but only you can open the blinds."

I've pondered that wisdom periodically . . . usually on bad days when nothing seems to go right. My attitude is up to me. I decide what kind of day I'm going to enjoy . . . or suffer through. There are days, however, when despite good intentions and positive outlook, tears still surface and heartache pierces through. Some trials are so difficult, we can't walk that path alone. Those are the times when we must trust in the Lord. If we'll simply look (Check out the story about the brazen serpent, found in both the Bible, and the Book of Mormon) we can live. Peace can enter even the most shattered heart. I've seen this happen repeatedly in my own life and I know it's true. Though I don't always succeed, I do try to look on the bright side whenever possible. I suspect that is a huge part of the test we call mortal life.

THE HORRORS OF SHOPPING

My daughter says I should shop on line.  That's too much like the catalog shopping my family had to do when I was a kid.  Nothing looked or fit quite the same as it did in those pictures.  Unfortunately, I don't seem to do much better wandering through malls. 

Take Saturday as a case in point.  I set out to find a dress to wear to my grandson's wedding which is coming up in a little more than a week.  I tried all of the big stores, Dillards, Nordstrom, Macy's, Sears, Penny's, some place that has initials for a name, and several smaller shops.  What I found were shirts masquerading as dresses, flimsy tissue thin fabrics, plunging necklines, ugly colors, rude sales people, and very few actual dresses.  It seems jeans and shirts are the only women's apparel most stores stock. The few dresses available are incomplete.  The buyer must buy something to go over or under each dress to avoid being charged with exhibitionism. 

I have bad knees and enclosed malls have become an uncomfortable place to shop.  It's not just the miles of long corridors to wander along, but the crowds of unruly, loud people who clog the area making freedom of movement difficult.  The more open malls have fewer crowds of people just hanging out, but it's just a nuisance to keep finding and moving my car.   

I miss my mother, for many reasons, but especially when it comes to clothes.  She could sew anything and as a child I had cute dresses made from flour and feed sacks.  As I got older we picked out fabric together, then she added inches where needed and eliminated inches where not needed, making my clothes fit and feel comfortable.  I can sew, but I don't like to and it's a guaranteed way to turn me into a frustrated wreck.  Unfortunately I can't afford a personal tailor.

Some of the ridiculous things I discovered  was the same dress at one of the high end stores as I found at Sears.  It was $32.00 at Sears and $189.00 at the other store.  I wanted a drink, preferably water; coffee was easily found in several places, soft drinks at a couple with huge long waiting lines, but no water.  I saw people walking around with Dasani bottles, but never spotted anyone selling it.  Just a simple drinking fountain would have been welcome.  There were more people milling around in the mall hall than in the stores, making me suspect most people don't go to malls to actually buy anything, but just to be part of some kind of mob action. 

Okay, I'll admit it; shopping just doesn't appeal to me.  I've always been the sort that if I wanted something, I just went in, bought it, and got out.  That doesn't work too well any more. I may have to take a second look at online shopping--or maybe I can convince my daughter-in-law to shop for me.  She's good at it and she actually likes it.

Emotions: Reader vs. Writer

Jennie wrote about rousing emotions with our writing. I totally agree that is an essential part of the crafting of a story. But sometimes as we tell the tale that is spinning in our heads, the emotions we seek to invoke are not necessarily the ones that happen.
My daughter, Nikki, is my best editor. She is an avid reader, and she is completely honest with me so I never have to worry about her glossing over something that isn't right. But we had an interesting interaction as she edited Too Many Ghosts.
Every day I read a chapter or bit of a chapter on how to write so I can hone my writing skills that have gotten rusty the last couple of years. Everything I read said you have to keep ratcheting up the ante - throwing another curve - another problem at the heroine. She has to have not only the main adventure going on, but she needs to have personal problems to deal with as well. So I threw in a heart attack for her dad while she is hot on the trail of her missing fiance. When her sister asks her to come home, she is only about two hours behind the man she hasn't seen for over a year and she needs to warn him of the gang that is close on his heels.
She talks to the doctor to see if she can delay coming home for another day, or is her father in danger of dying before she can get there if she does delay? He said they had the patient stabilized and she would probably be safe in delaying.
Nikki didn't like that at all. Now to be fair, Nikki would drop EVERYTHING to get to her father if he'd had a heart attack, so I wondered if she wasn't being a little prejudiced with the heroine's decision. But another reader said the same thing. They both stopped identifying with the character at that point and were disappointed in her.
In my mind she was being perfectly reasonable in delaying if her father's condition was stabilized so she could catch up with her fiance and save him. So perspective is everything. If you perceive a weakness in a character, some flaw that is supposed to make the reader feel some angst for them and it backfires, then what?
Of course, I took out the heart attack. Explaining my reasoning didn't sway my two critics. Now I worry that Dominique (my character) won't be a heroine readers will want to identify with. Have I lost touch with what my readers expect? Have I lost touch with reality?
I've always felt the lives and stories and worlds we create need to parallel our own lives and stories and worlds, but need to have a little more of everything. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe they need to just mirror and reflect our own. How will I know for sure?

Words of Wisdom for Today

I will not be so bold as to offer words of wisdom from my own brain, though I do have a few gems, like..don't give a cat a bath. Instead, since most of my offerings follow that pattern, I will offer true words of wisdom from our sixteenth president, Abraham Lincoln.

"I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts."

"I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life."

"It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt."

"Let not him who is houseless pull down the house of another, but let him work diligently and build one for himself, thus by example assuring that his own shall be safe from violence when built."

After listening to our national politicians for many months, I think most could take a lesson from Honest Abe.