Things I've Learned

Over the course of my writing years, I've learned not to underestimate my ability to screw things up. I learned the hard way that not all jeans are Levis, not all paper tissues are Kleenex, not all temples have an angel on top, poring over a letter is not the same spelling as pouring water, and not all plasterboard is Sheetrock. A letter, a comma, so many little things change a meaning, imply a different nuance, and make the difference between a "good" story and a polished story. 

I've learned too that computers are both a writer's blessing and curse. Having started my writing career on a manual Smith Corona and moved up to an electric then a data processer and eventually a series of ever more complex computers, I know firsthand that a lot more gets written using a computer than I could ever hope to accomplish with a typewriter. I'm not sorry to no longer need carbon paper, type erasers, or correction paper. Still computers are the cause of much more wasted time than the old Smith Corona ever was. It simplifies research, yet entices its user to play games and read endless trivia. Facebook monopolizes hours of time that could be better spent actually writing---though it's a great networking tool, an excellent way to stay in touch with friends, family, and readers.

No matter how talented a writer may be, he/she needs to constantly brush up on word usage, grammar, do research, learn new computer techniques and programs, and pay attention to little things like regular backups, a surge protector, and adherence to publisher guidelines. If attention isn't given to these peripheral matters, disaster can wipe out the most beautiful and perfect words.

The struggling artist who lives in an unheated attic and lives on bread and whiskey is as much a thing of the past as my old Smith-Corona. Today's writer who isolates him or herself from life doesn't relate to today's reader. Today whether a book is set on the American frontier, a New York penthouse, or in outer space, readers want to relate to the characters in a personal way.

With the flurry the past few weeks of getting my newest book ready to go to press, I read over the dedication and acknowledgements I wrote six months ago and decided I still mean them. There really are many people besides the author who play a part in moving a concept from inside one person's head to actual words on paper, neatly tucked between a front cover and a back cover. There are the people employed by the publisher who edit, proof read, write a cover blurb, choose a title, design a cover, create a promotion program, and handle the details of production. There are friends, critique groups, and fans who cheer the writer on, read drafts, help with research, etc. And not least of all, there's the writer's family. These are the people who believe in us, pick up the slack in the housework, feed us, and who think being wife, husband, mommy, daddy, grandma, grandpa is our greatest achievement. They think it's great we write books, but take greater pride in our ability to kick a soccer ball, bake brownies, or remember birthdays.

It's disappointing to screw up a spelling or confuse a brand name with a generic name. It feels like the sky is falling when we mess up properly saving our precious prose. But the one place I hope I never fail is in letting my family and friends know I love and appreciate them.

Happy Easter!

I got a cute e-mail the other day:
All I need to know I learned from the Easter Bunny!
1. Don't put all your eggs in one basket
2. Everyone needs a friend who is all ears.
3. There's no such thing as too much candy.
4. All work and no play can make you a basket case.
5. A cute tail attracts a lot of attention.
6. Everyone is entitled to a bad hare day.
7. Let happy thoughts multiply like rabbits.
8. Some body parts should be floppy.
9. Keep your paws off other people's jelly beans.
10. Good things come in small, sugar-coated packages.
11. The grass is always greener in someone else's basket.
12. To show your true colors, you have to come out of the shell.
13. The best things in life are still sweet and gooey.

Those are cute - and some even are true. But the most sublime language ever written comes with Easter:

"He is not here, for he is risen."
"For God So loved the World..."
"He is risen! He is risen! Shout it out with joyful voice!"
"Christ the Lord is risen today, Alleluia!"
"God loved us, so He sent His Son."

I love the hymns that are so full of wondrous doctrine and truth. But the Primary songs are particularly dear to me. One favorite says: "How could the Father tell the world of love and tenderness? He sent his Son, a newborn babe, with peace and holiness. How could the Father show the world the pathway we should go? He sent his Son to walk with men on earth that we may know. How could the Father tell the world of sacrifice, of death? He sent his Son to die for us and rise with living breath."

I love Easter for all those reasons, and especially because of that one incredible truth the angel spoke from the empty tomb: "He is not here, for He is risen."

Affliction

As I try to gather my thoughts together to write this blog, my mind keeps wandering to my family and friends. Many of them are suffering from all types of struggles and afflictions.

Although I recognize that trials of heartache, illness, and devastation is worldwide-- especially in these latter days-- it seems within our own circle of loved ones adversity affects each of us in one form or another in quite an abundance.

As I ponder this thought of why adversity is so prevalent, I am reminded of two quotes from this last General Conference, both given by President Uchtdorf. The first is, “Comfort the afflicted, afflict the comfortable.” The second quote is, “Answers don’t always come when we are on our knees, but when we are on our feet.”

The Parable of the Good Samaritan comes to mind…

When the Priest and the Levite saw the man who had been robbed and wounded laying by the roadside, they passed him by. They even crossed to the other side to avoid him. Yet, the Samaritan who was thought to be an enemy of the man, was the one who made the greatest sacrifices and helped him in his time of need. He gave comfort to the afflicted.

As for Pres. Uchtdorf’s second part of the quote, “… afflict the comfortable.” I suppose this can be taken in many ways depending on where the listener of the talk is in their life. One of my thoughts was that I believe many of us, myself included, can become too complacent in our lives if we are not careful. Should/Could we do more to help the afflicted? It’s an individual evaluation, I suppose. It’s a question I should ask myself frequently so that I don’t become too complacent and find myself not doing enough to “Comfort the afflicted.”

As for the second quote I mentioned, I believe it is a good reminder that some of our greatest blessings come when we are in the service of others. I know that when I am having a difficult time, the best way to forget myself is find ways to be of service to others

I need to thank all the Good Samaritans in my life, and believe me, there have been many. In times of my own affliction, it was such a blessing to have Samaritans to help me bear my burdens. I need to keep in mind all they have done and try to do likewise for others.

Pilgrimage

The Sea of Galilee during the day and night.

An old olive tree on the Mount of Olives

The Mt. of the Beatitudes and the Jordan River

The lilies of the field and Nazareth--the boyhood home of Jesus

My husband and I have just returned from a pilgrimage to the Holy Land. When we first boarded the plane and then the bus with 86 other adventurers we thought of it as a tour, but it wasn't long before we experienced a special feeling which permeated different locations. We realized that we were feeling the promise of the Holy Land.

The experience also changed my preconceived notions about the topography--granted we were there during spring, but I'd never thought of the country of Christ's sojourn as anything but craggy and dry. I was so mistaken. There were crops, fruit trees, fields, forests, and wild flowers.

Our spiritual educator on the trip brought the scriptures and messages of faith into our minds and hearts. How amazing to sit on the Mt. of the Beatitudes and have a lesson on the great truths taught in the Sermon on the Mt. How thrilling to sit on a boat, at night, on the Sea of Galilee and think of the Lord walking on the water to rescue his apostles from the storm. How life changing to sit in the Garden of Gethsemane and ponder the Savior's nearness.

Amidst the turmoil that is sweeping the earth at this time, our pilgrimage brought us prospective and peace. Truly we saw beyond this moment and into eternity.

American Customer Service vs. British Maternity Services

I haven't blogged about the differences between Britain and America for a while - probably because it's such a minefield - but wanted to put down some of my thoughts about what is better each side of the Atlantic. Nothing to do with books or writing, of course - normal service will be resumed shortly.

It's a long list. British chocolate is better but American meat is better. Tesco and Sainsbury's have budget brands, but Wal-Mart has a bigger variety of stock. American roads are better and petrol is cheaper, but British roads are (apparently) safer - I have no idea why you're twice as likely to die in a road accident in the US than the UK.

Today, though, I'm going to just focus on one thing from each country.

America is better at serving the consumer. It's not just friendly and smiling "servers" who want you to have a nice day, and shop assistants who bag your groceries for you. The thing I'm most jealous of is the drive-through. OK, so we have drive-throughs at McDonald's and KFC (American brands, note) but America has drive through banks - wow! And post offices! When I have a parcel to post I have to drive to the post office and hope that one of the six parking spaces outside is free, then get out of the car and trudge through the rain (it's always raining) when all I need to do is put my pre-paid parcel on the counter.

And if I have some cheques to pay into the bank or need to get some cash out of the hole in the wall I have to pay 60p to park for an hour in the council car park even though my errand only takes five minutes. It's very frustrating.

So what does Britain do better? Maternity services, I have recently learned. A British friend who had her first baby in America told me her experience, so I was able to compare and contrast with mine.

During my pregnancies I was cared for entirely by my community midwife who called on me at home with increasing frequency as I got closer to my due date. She delivered my babies too and I was able to use gas-and-air (entonox) for pain relief and choose any position I found comfortable for the delivery. (Yeah, right. Comfortable?!?)

When I had my first baby I was in hospital with her for a few days because she had some feeding problems, but she was in a little wheeled cradle by my side the whole time. Despite the fact that she was tagged at birth on her wrist and ankle, I was not allowed to be apart from her - I even had to trundle her along with me when I went to the loo. When I had Ceri (my third) I went home an hour after giving birth, but then she was supposed to be a home delivery anyway.

My friend giving birth in America (admittedly 14 years ago - things may have changed since) was attended by a male doctor (argh!) and a flock of gowned and masked nurses, and required to lie flat on her back with her feet in stirrups. (Entonox isn't available in the US and apparently 70% of American women have an epidural - a major medical procedure.) Her son was then taken to the nursery with all the other babies. Her mother-in-law put her under pressure to have him circumcised. In the UK, circumcision of an infant is illegal unless it's for religious reasons or deemed medically necessary.

Having said all this, I buy grocieries and go to the post office rather more often than I have babies, so I think America wins hands down.

Half Empty or Half Full?

Greetings. I'm posting a couple of days early for a reason: I will be out of town on my assigned day (Monday). And since I'll be leaving this morning, I'm going to cheat and paste in a post from my personal blog (Crane-ium). ;)

I'm sure we've all heard the adage: "It's important to see the cup half full." Some people see it half-empty on a frequent basis. Personality types are often determined by how we see that elusive cup. Sometimes it depends on the day. I've spent much of my life trying to see the cup half full. But there are days, like this entire past month, when that cup has been looking a tad bit on the empty side. True, I'm still wading through the grief that goes along with losing a good friend. One day I'm fine and figure I've moved on---the next day, not so much. It becomes a balancing act between forcing a smile and ignoring inner pain. One of the lifelines that helps me survive this process is having a sense of humor. A good laugh goes a long way toward easing turmoil. I've also learned that service is a great way to heal. Doing something for someone else chips away at the icebergs that sometimes erupt within our hearts.

We live in a challenging time. (Understatement of the year!) I suspect it has always been thus. There have always been wars and rumors of war. People have always struggled from day to day to make a living. I also think parenting has always been an adventure (think of how our first parents must have felt when one son killed the other--I'm just sayin'). I seriously doubt when we compare notes on the other side, we'll point fingers and say, "Oh, yeah, well you lived during an era of complete and utter peace. There were no trials, no disappointments, no heartaches." There might be one exception to this train of thought, and that would involve those lucky types who will dwell during the millennium, and I think even then, there may be a challenge or two to test their mettle.

Life is a test. My paternal grandmother used to tell me that this world is a giant classroom and we never know when we'll get hit with a pop quiz. Truer words were never spoken. I also think one of the most significant lessons we'll ever grasp during this mortal education is the importance of having a good attitude. This is often difficult when we're covered in something like boils (See the book of Job), swallowed by a whale (See the book of Jonah, or Pinocchio), or driving in Utah (see list of least friendly places to drive).

This attitude extends to how we treat each other. Are we nice to the poor clerk at the store who is paid minimum wage to endure the wrath of miffed bargain shoppers? Do we smile while waiting in the never-ending line at the post office? Are we overly-critical of others who don't measure up to our expectations? Do we take our very bad day out on the people who should mean the most to us?

Since we're all very different, we think in varying ways. We believe in all kinds of things, but there is one item we should consider: We are supposed to look on the bright side whenever possible and play nice with others. If you ever doubt this philosophy, review the Sermon on the Mount.

Bottom line, when this life is but a memory, the thing that will matter most is how we played the game. Were we fair, honest, obedient? Did we try to help others? Were we kind in our dealings with those around us? Did we bring joy into the world . . . or did others tip toe around us because our cup was half-empty and our attitude reflected this mindset? Something to ponder daily. Do we see the cup half-empty or half-full? This question may have eternal significance someday. Definitely a compelling point to consider.