Giving When It Hurts--Then What?

I had this niggling feeling I had a blog due this past few days but ignored it. Always dangerous to ignore those feelings, right? But as is often the case, I was absorbed in the various unpredictable challenges of life and family. My older brother just moved back to Utah and in with me since he hasn't been able to find work for nearly a year. And right after he moved in, I was laid off and the unemployment people are giving me grief because I teach one class a year at BYU, which means I am employed and don't qualify for help, not to mention the occasional freelance project.
So now my house has two brothers, a niece, her two puppies, her boyfriend (time for a talk there), my cats--oh, and me. Which is a bit funny because my life, though categorized as "single" has almost never been alone. Which provides lots of learning experiences.

Oh, and my cats are sick and sneezing like crazy and apparently passing their infections around, so once again, despite being single, I think I'm getting a very full family experience (at least it's not the flu being passed around here).

However, in spite of all this "busy-ness" one challenge in particular is sitting here staring me in the face and other than give it time and space, I'm not sure what to do. A woman I know well and care about and respect a lot is feeling serious burnout from helping her family. She has a stressful job, lots of church responsibilities, and lots of needy people in her life and she is a naturally giving and generous person--so you know where this is going.

Rather unexpectedly this week I found myself included in the people she was frustrated and angry with because I had been among the takers, though I sincerely didn't realize it and have tried hard not to put demands on her. I had gone to her looking for some talk and insight some time back and left with some money, feeling grateful but without an inkling that I should have turned down the offer. So now I'm feeling a bit frustrated myself, being the object of her resentment and blame. I communicated this to her, but the result was not a happy one. Maybe it was just too soon and too raw to talk about.

I've heard that it's common for people--maybe women especially?--to hold back and try to carry on and pretend that nothing's wrong until finally it all hits and then the anger and frustration come boiling over. If I still had a halfway decent memory, I might remember doing that myself. (And if I don't resolve this situation with my brother and my niece--who just came in with her boyfriend at 5 am--I may be getting a new experience with it.)

Part of the problem may be giving and serving and being happy to do it until—well, it suddenly stops being fun and you realize that people are expecting it and not appreciating it or showing it. And you feel like you're the only one giving.

So I'm just thinking aloud trying to make sense of all this and knowing that the others who post here are sensitive, intelligent, giving women with a lot of life experience. Any ideas?