Thursday, April 4, 2013

A Whole New Way of Life

I have just embarked on a new chapter in my life. I have thrown off the shackles of editors and evaluators....and what in the last months has become a nightmare of edits and cutting parts from the story that I wanted to tell. I decided I'm too old not to enjoy every remaining day of my life to the fullest, so I made the decision to turn the page on my writing career and write "The End." I am not finishing edits on Too Many Ghosts. I've withdrawn it from submission. I'm free! Free to play golf with my husband and walk on the beach anytime we feel like it. I'm free to swim and play with grandchildren at every opportunity without feeling guilty that I'm not at the computer writing. Free to go visit children in far off states. Free to spend my hours on family history and doing their temple work. Free to finish organizing my pictures and life story and write Mom's life story. I'm free to spend my hours cleaning out closets and repainting my home. In fact, just yesterday, some of our Young Women needed money to pay for camp this year so I had them come over and scrub my walls. Today, as soon as our daughter picks up our youngest grandchildren, I'm already to paint - to change colors and moods and my whole outlook on life! I'm now free to go help plan the wedding of our first granddaughter to get married. What fun we will have in South Dakota planning this Utah wedding! Free to explore venues for next year's family reunion. Free to spend extra days in Idaho next month with my three sisters on our annual retreat. Can't wait. I can't tell you how incredible this freedom feels! And I'm happy to say, I don't have even a tinge of regret that this book and the unfinished sequel will probably never see the light of day or reach the readers who have been asking when it will be available. I am sorry to disappoint my faithful followers, but not sorry enough to keep making changes to make evaluators happy. Not sorry at all that the story they wanted me to tell - instead of the story that I wanted to tell - will never be printed. Now, as soon as my grandchildren get up and have breakfast, we're off to hike the Prime Desert Woodlands Trail and just hope that four-year-old Julian doesn't give out before trail's end. Violet at his age hiked to the bottom of Bryce Canyon and back up without any assist from Grandpa who kept offering a ride on his shoulders. She's a born hiker. Julian is not. But the promise of visiting our neighbor with new baby chicks and bunnies, a llama, numerous goats, exotic chickens, and whatever else she has added to her menagerie should help him keep going! Freedom tastes SOOO sweet!

7 comments:

Cheri J. Crane said...

This sounds so familiar to me. ;) Good for you, Lynn. There is a lot to be said for freedom.

Kerry Blair said...

Oh, Lynn! Color me conflicted. I totally know how you feel -- I've been there quite some time now myself. So that part of me says HURRAY and GOOD FOR YOU! Then there is that other part of me that has so loved reading every word that has proceeded forth from your word processor over the years. That part wants to cry. Would you consider sharing your ghost story with those of us who have waited so long and impatiently for it? Do so love you, Lynn!

Lynn Gardner said...

Yes, Kerry, I will be happy to share. Thanks for your kind words. And Cheri, I'm LOVING the freedom!!

Marlene Austin said...

Lynn, I'm new--old to this publishing stuff and already feel the conflict which may account for the seven years since my first book was published--but not for the rejected submissions in between. I have to tell you that when I first thought of sending a manuscript in, I went to the bookstore near our Boston temple and asked which was the best LDS novel to use as a standard for my writing. It was yours! I can't remember which, but it gave me the courage to try. I'm glad to see you following your heart but hope you keep toe in the door with blogs and all. Remember there are those of us out here who credit you with much inspiration.

Marlene Austin

Gale Sears said...

Dear Lynn,
Sigh. Tear. Smile. Nod.
(I, like Kerry, would love to read the book)
Love you

Lynn Gardner said...

Marlene, thank you for your kind thoughts and for that special insight into your experience with my book. I can't tell you how happy I am that you followed through and submitted your manuscript and got it published. Don't give up. I will keep my toe in the door encouraging others to keep writing and reading and trying, but I'm so ready to clean out closets and put my house in order. I have a corner of my study that is devoted to family history - it is in desperate need of organizing. So I'm excited to get to those things instead of beating my head again critiques and evaluations that changed my story so drastically it wasn't recognizable. But hang in there and keep writing! It is worth it in the end! And I'm loving this end!!

Lynn Gardner said...

Gale, you shall have the marred and scarred manuscript! :)